caught for a moment

It was the strangest thing.

It was just a picture.

Just a picture of a scene that I’d been present for, just a picture at a scene that I’d helped coordinate. It was just a picture of a person, of a person who I knew most of my life, who knew me in that way that few people ever do, of a person I lost more than two years ago.

I’ve written about him before, about the struggles and trials in his life. I’ve written about him in some of my darkest moments, when I missed him deeply, missed his ability to just let me be and accept that — something that is hard for most people.

Today, somehow, through the magic of Facebook and life, I stumbled across a picture of him, outside my apartment, the summer before he died. He looks so alive, so… him.

And it just rips at my heart.

It puts so many things in perspective. And now, before Christmas, it makes me sniffle, and cry, that picture, but in the end, it makes me smile, because he was my friend, that was my life, and I carry those laughs and times with me until the end.

So today, right before Christmas, I remember. I remember all of those who I’ve lost — the sweet people, the wonderful people, whose families surely are thinking about them every day.

So, today, I think about my friend. As he always said when it was time to go, instead of goodbye or see you later or fare the well — love.

 

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